Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
