I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
