At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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