Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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