Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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