i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize