this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
