the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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