It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
