That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
