When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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