best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
