Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
honey bunches of taint.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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