So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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