I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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