You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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