i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
false alarm, still single
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
