Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
