lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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