The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize