I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize