help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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