I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
