Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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