I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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