I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
