I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
