He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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