woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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