You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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