Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You are the jesus of drinking
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
