Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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