I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
