hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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