yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
