is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
