You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
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I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize