my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
