Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
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