and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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