Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
