I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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