I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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