Have you finally orgasmed yet?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize