I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
