if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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