fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
