Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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