Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
