Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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