every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize