we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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