My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
