woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize