i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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