I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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