note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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