wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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